In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree; 
'look at me...I'm tall, and I'm straight, and I'm handsome. Look at're all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you.'
And they grew up in that forest together.

And then one day, the loggers came. They saw the crooked tree and the straight tree and they said
'Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest'
So the loggers turned all the straight trees to lumber and toothpicks and paper.

And the crooked tree is still there, growing stronger and stranger every day.

- Tom Waits